College will cost me HOW MUCH?

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According to the September 21, 2015 article in the Wall Street Journal, there are eight crucial questions parents and their children should ask themselves when college and college expenses are on the horizon.  Today, the cost of college is not limited to room and board; students are required to pay hundreds of dollars per semester on textbooks, activities fees, and transportation.  Some schools require students to complete an internship, often full-time and unpaid.

Parents, whether married or divorced, should take the time to plan and prepare for the increasing financial burden of college.   “Too often, parents feel guilty if their finances limit their child’s ability to go to their dream school, which is why they’re willing to ‘beg, borrow and steal; or go into massive debt to help the child get there,” says Beth Kobliner, a personal-finance author.

As a parent, do you want to work twelve to fifteen more years to make up for the financial burden of college? Can you count on your spouse or ex-spouse to help contribute?  Will your child’s career path keep them from paying off their student loans 15, 20, 25 years down the road?  Financial situations vary, but the increasing price of college is constant.  Can you afford your child’s dream school?  Reconsider the impact that educational costs may have on all of you.

Grossman & Associates, Ltd.
617-969-0069

DIVORCING CAN MEAN LOSING CUSTODY OF YOUR FRIENDS

One of the most under-recognized casualties of divorce is friendships.  An invisible line is drawn in the sand among friends when rumblings of marriage trouble begin.  Married friends begin discussing your marriage with each other, taking notes and comparing their marriage to yours- what they would have done differently, why that will never be them and the big one, where fault is placed.

Whether your friends side with you or your spouse is often determined by whether your friends knew you or your spouse first, and that person is the one who wins the continued friendship.

The demise of a marriage is almost never just the end of your marriage, but often the end of at least a few surrounding friendships you once counted on.  But the end is always the mark of a beginning – and all good things have a beginning.

Grossman & Associates, Ltd.
617-969-0069

And the Winner Is…

Sex, religion, money, family – the list goes on and on and depending on how many opinions you are inviting, the list will continue to grow.  The more google searches you do, the more websites you will encounter with yet more advice on what destroyed your marriage.

After over a decade of working with both men and women going through the divorce process, I have heard hundreds of detailed accounts of how and why each person’s marriage ended AND THE WINNER IS…..there isn’t one.

As frustrating and anti-climactic as that news may be – any other answer would be as accurate as your daily horoscope.  Of course there are similarities among all of the stories I hear where there is heartache, deception, manipulation and love lost but often one will fixate on one event or problem as being the lone perpetrator in the death of their marriage.  More often than not this one event is the red herring of a combination of so many issues that were really destroying one’s relationship as demonstrated in “His Penis Extension Broke – and 9 More Crazy Reasons People Divorced” .

The good news is that most marriages are not so fragile and one specific issue will not end decades of a marriage partnership between two people.  Issues and areas of disagreement exist in all marriages whether they are successful or not, but become red herrings when one or both spouses no longer likes being in the partnership.  It most likely didn’t happen overnight, and it is usually not caused by one particular event or bad decision.  Just as falling in love and creating a marriage partnership is a process, so too is it’s destruction.

Grossman & Associates, Ltd.
617-969-0069