Sex, religion, money, family – the list goes on and on and depending on how many opinions you are inviting, the list will continue to grow. The more google searches you do, the more websites you will encounter with yet more advice on what destroyed your marriage.
After over a decade of working with both men and women going through the divorce process, I have heard hundreds of detailed accounts of how and why each person’s marriage ended AND THE WINNER IS…..there isn’t one.
As frustrating and anti-climactic as that news may be – any other answer would be as accurate as your daily horoscope. Of course there are similarities among all of the stories I hear where there is heartache, deception, manipulation and love lost but often one will fixate on one event or problem as being the lone perpetrator in the death of their marriage. More often than not this one event is the red herring of a combination of so many issues that were really destroying one’s relationship as demonstrated in “His Penis Extension Broke – and 9 More Crazy Reasons People Divorced” .
The good news is that most marriages are not so fragile and one specific issue will not end decades of a marriage partnership between two people. Issues and areas of disagreement exist in all marriages whether they are successful or not, but become red herrings when one or both spouses no longer likes being in the partnership. It most likely didn’t happen overnight, and it is usually not caused by one particular event or bad decision. Just as falling in love and creating a marriage partnership is a process, so too is it’s destruction.
Grossman & Associates, Ltd.