One of the biggest challenges facing clients who are involved in a custody dispute is remembering to keep their children, the subject of the dispute, out of it. How successful or unsuccessful you are with this challenge could make or break your position with the judge in your case.
3 important things to remember:
- While honesty and open communication is key to continuing a healthy relationship with your children, the play by play or status of your on-going custody case should never be a part of any conversation that you have with your children. Instead, reassure the children that you and your spouse are working together and will let the children know when there is resolution.
- Discussing your ex’s past transgressions or their lack of parenting skills in the presence of your children will only hurt your children. These “conversations” that you may be having with your friends or family members while your children are within earshot are what judges often refer to as “disparaging remarks” and judges have little patience or tolerance for and neither parent should disparage the other parent in front of the children. Set an example for how your children should act. While you may have nothing good to say about your spouse keep your real feelings to yourself so you not fueling the fire.
- Asking your children to choose between you and your ex is never acceptable – never. Your responsibility as a parent is to prioritize your children’s well-being before your own. Divorce makes children feel vulnerable and fearful. Reassure your children that they are important and you will always take care of them.