The Do’s and Don’ts of Dating During your Divorce  

 

The divorce process is never as quick as one expects it to be regardless of how amicable the Parties are with one another.  The fact is, most divorces are not amicable and the timeline for the process could range from one to a few years before a judgment of divorce is granted.   Given the length of time a divorce could take from the initial break-up to the final divorce it is not uncommon for one or both of the Parties to date.  Depending on the contested issues between you and your spouse, dating during your divorce could be a very delicate situation and your divorce attorney should be made aware of any romantic relationship you are engaging in.

My advice to anyone on dating while going through a contested divorce case would be “don’t do it”.   It’s not that it’s “illegal” to do so, but only that dating during this time is inflammatory to the other spouse who may be unusually hostile, uncompromising or defiant in response.    Dating while the children are experiencing the family divorce can also create additional insecurities and conflicts, including interrogations of the children by the other spouse about your dating life.

However, if you must date here are a few basic dating Do’s and Don’ts you should be aware of:

  • Keep all finances separate, and do not pay for any dates, trips or gifts until your divorce.
  • Keep your romantic status off of social media – this includes pictures, status updates and address changes.
  • Most importantly, keep your dating life separate from your family life…in other words do not introduce your significant other to your children, your divorce attorney will thank you for it!

 

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Which Type of Alimony is the One For You? 

 

Massachusetts’ 2011 Alimony Reform Act, M.G.L. Chapter 208, Section 48 not only changed the terms, duration and calculations of the old alimony rules, but added three (3) types of alimony Massachusetts had not previously recognized: Rehabilitative Alimony; Reimbursement Alimony; and Transitional Alimony.

  • Rehabilitative alimony – Alimony paid by one Party to the other Party for a period of time in order to allow the Party receiving alimony to gain employment or learn a new skill so that they will become self-sufficient in the future.
  • Reimbursement alimony – Alimony paid by one Party to the other Party for a period of time as reimbursement for contributing (economic or non-economic) to the financial resources during the time the Party paying alimony was enrolled and attending school and/or job training. Reimbursement alimony only applies to marriages lasting five (5) years or less.
  • Transitional alimony – Alimony paid by one Party to allow the other Party to adjust to a new lifestyle or a move to a new location which is a result of the divorce. Transitional alimony only applies to marriages lasting five (5) years of less.