Divorce can be heartbreaking, traumatic and painful for both spouses regardless of who initiated the break-up. The length of time that it takes for a person to move on and heal from their divorce varies case by case and person to person.
People often believe the overwhelming feelings of sadness and unhappiness that they experience while going through the divorce process are the result of mourning the loss of their spouse and the life they had once shared together. It is not uncommon that we recreate and distort our memories, subconsciously filtering our recollection of events through rose-colored glasses while completely dismissing the negative memories.
Although no two divorces are the same, the breakdown of any marriage is rarely, if ever caused by one single event, followed by an immediate filing for divorce from one or both spouses. The path that leads people to divorce is usually a long, sad and lonely one and as creatures of habit we gradually adapt to accepting whatever life we find ourselves in instead of looking for a happier and more satisfying life. Unfortunately, sometimes the path to living a satisfying and happy life can only happen by confronting the sharp pain of ending a chapter in your life in preparation for a new beginning. Just like ripping off a band-aid, it hurts in the beginning – a lot– and then one day it doesn’t. You soon find that you are able to look forward and not back, replacing the sad and lonely days that you thought you missed, with happy and fulfilling ones.
A Safe Place, Inc. is an organization located on Nantucket that provides free and confidential services for survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault. The program has recently expanded to include specialized services for children who’s lives have been impacted by violence in the home.
A Safe Place, Inc. is now offering Supervised Visitation and Exchange Services in an effort to make exchanges accessible for everyone.
If you or someone you know is in need of this type of assistance, please contact Grossman & Associates, Ltd. at 617-969-0069. If you are in immediate danger, call 911 for the police.
One of the most under-recognized casualties of divorce is friendships. An invisible line is drawn in the sand among friends when rumblings of marriage trouble begin. Married friends begin discussing your marriage with each other, taking notes and comparing their marriage to yours- what they would have done differently, why that will never be them and the big one, where fault is placed.
Whether your friends side with you or your spouse is often determined by whether your friends knew you or your spouse first, and that person is the one who wins the continued friendship.
The demise of a marriage is almost never just the end of your marriage, but often the end of at least a few surrounding friendships you once counted on. But the end is always the mark of a beginning – and all good things have a beginning.