Why Divorce is Sometimes the Band-Aid that Needs to be Ripped Off

Divorce can be heartbreaking, traumatic and painful for both spouses regardless of who initiated the break-up.  The length of time that it takes for a person to move on and heal from their divorce varies case by case and person to person.

People often believe the overwhelming feelings of sadness and unhappiness that they experience while going through the divorce process are the result of mourning the loss of their spouse and the life they had once shared together.  It is not uncommon that we recreate and distort our memories, subconsciously filtering our recollection of events through rose-colored glasses while completely dismissing the negative memories.

Although no two divorces are the same, the breakdown of any marriage is rarely, if ever caused by one single event, followed by an immediate filing for divorce from one or both spouses.  The path that leads people to divorce is usually a long, sad and lonely one and as creatures of habit we gradually adapt to accepting whatever life we find ourselves in instead of looking for a happier and more satisfying life.  Unfortunately, sometimes the path to living a satisfying and happy life can only happen by confronting the sharp pain of ending a chapter in your life in preparation for a new beginning.  Just like ripping off a band-aid, it hurts in the beginning – a lot– and then one day it doesn’t.  You soon find that you are able to look forward and not back, replacing the sad and lonely days that you thought you missed, with happy and fulfilling ones.

College will cost me HOW MUCH?

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According to the September 21, 2015 article in the Wall Street Journal, there are eight crucial questions parents and their children should ask themselves when college and college expenses are on the horizon.  Today, the cost of college is not limited to room and board; students are required to pay hundreds of dollars per semester on textbooks, activities fees, and transportation.  Some schools require students to complete an internship, often full-time and unpaid.

Parents, whether married or divorced, should take the time to plan and prepare for the increasing financial burden of college.   “Too often, parents feel guilty if their finances limit their child’s ability to go to their dream school, which is why they’re willing to ‘beg, borrow and steal; or go into massive debt to help the child get there,” says Beth Kobliner, a personal-finance author.

As a parent, do you want to work twelve to fifteen more years to make up for the financial burden of college? Can you count on your spouse or ex-spouse to help contribute?  Will your child’s career path keep them from paying off their student loans 15, 20, 25 years down the road?  Financial situations vary, but the increasing price of college is constant.  Can you afford your child’s dream school?  Reconsider the impact that educational costs may have on all of you.

Grossman & Associates, Ltd.
617-969-0069